“Then Just Move Out”

Personally, these words affect me in a large way.

Last night, my father had the audacity to tell me to move out because I do not talk to them enough. As if that is entirely my fault. Why would I want to associate with a group of people that would rather have nothing to do with me?

It’s absolute nonsense, bullshit even, to accuse me of not wanting a better relationship with my father.

As much as I try, and have tried in the past, I am spent. I am done. I am exhausted. 

I am not home very often because I work a lot and I spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I spend time with my grandparents at their house because I am more comfortable and I am more accepted. Why would I want to be home when I receive ridicule at best? I am consistently ignored. No one attempts to make conversation with me, so why would I want to make conversation with anyone else?

I am getting tired of fighting a one-man battle. 

I come home to a group of people who only care about a select number of things in regards to my life: what time I work (and when they have to pick me up/drop me off), what time I go to school, when I’m going to school.

It matters not to any one member of my household if I’m actually happy or not.

My happiness goes entirely unnoticed.

Has it not occurred to everyone that if I’m spending more and more time in my room and not talking as much because I’m bloody well depressed? 

Not that that’s any excuse. I can still attempt to be an “active member” of my family.

I just don’t understand why that’s my job. 

My father doesn’t go to the boys’ soccer games because he works.

He doesn’t go to church because he is at work.

Why don’t I have that same pass?

I don’t want to go to church and I bloody well shouldn’t have to. I am almost twenty years old and I am not a Catholic, so why am I forced to attend mass? Why am I forced to set foot on holy land when I’m not religious in any way? I could stay home. 

SEEMINGLY UNIMPORTANT TO EVERYONE’S STANDARDS, SAVE MY OWN

  • My opinions
  • My thoughts
  • My beliefs
  • My desires
  • My wants
  • My needs
  • My happiness 
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