Thinking is a massive pain in the ass.
It really just seems to kick you when you’re down.
I mean, you’re sitting there, alone and warm…entirely comfortable in your bed. Then suddenly, all these ideas and thoughts pop into your head. What’s worse is they do not pop into your head. They…it’s like rain. They all come in…all at one time. You, you forgot your umbrella. The nice one that protects you from the elements…? Yeah, you forgot it and, of course, you parked the car in Timbuktu. So, all these thoughts are spilling into your brain and you’re sitting there thinking of the stupidest things.
“Do you remember Jonny from the second grade…? Do you remember liking Jonny from the second grade?”
[grimace] Of course I remember Jonny from the second grade.
“I wonder what Jonny from the second grade is doing at this very moment…well, I bet he’s got a beautiful girlfriend…and he’s probably still swimming…kid always did love swimming…”
Mind you, I haven’t thought about Jonny from the second grade since…well, since the second grade. But now I’m thinking about him. It’s midnight and I’ve got to be awake in six hours, but here I am thinking about Jonny from the second grade and what colour socks he wears now.
Thinking is one of the most destructive things. I
t grabs hold of you and takes you for a ride. It can make you do some of the best and brightest things, but it can also make you do some of the worst and stupidest things. It’s not even thinking that’s the worst.
It is it’s second cousin, six times removed…the ever-dreadful overthinking.
“Did he like me? He liked me, didn’t he? God, no, it must have been that yellow cardigan…he hated it, didn’t he? Maybe that’s why he hasn’t called? No, maybe he just hasn’t called because I’m a f*cking idiot. Wait, maybe he really really liked me but is too shy or scared to call me. Maybe he’s waiting for me to call him…maybe I should call him. Should I call him? God, that’s forward, isn’t it? But what if he is waiting for me to call him and I still haven’t? God, what am I waiting for? If I call him, do I wait or do I do it in two days? What is the proper time??? What are the rules??????”
Overthinking is a killer.